Nautical Novices Gifts

Tractor

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

Flyfishing for dummies.

Boat wedding.

"Is this the first time you've been fishing?"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

'Heavy seas tonight, Mom...'

Captain steering house through flood.

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

Fish or Cut Bait

Lighthouse Beam.

Fishing boat.

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

'Just in case there is an accident.'

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

"Aye, 'tis the elusive Moby Dick!"

'I did not say there was a miss in the motor, I said the motor was missing.'

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

A large yacht carries a small wood house.

'Clem,the doctor told you to get away and relax.'

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

'Of course I brought the emergency flares.'

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

'I thought I knew what a cubit was.'

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

Set sail

The Difficulties of Transporting Boats

Distractions.

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."