Nautical Novice Gifts

My First Boat

'I thought buying the boat would make him more optimistic about the future but apparently not...'

"Three Morons At Sea."

Rule 1: Wear a life jacket. Rule 2: Don't get all tangled up in the anchor rope.

'This isn't the kind of sales job I was hoping for.'

Clumsy boat man and anchor.

Uncharted Waters

'No, thanks. You'll never get me into one of those.'

"I've been a stowaway on that boat for months now: please tell me, where am I?"

"Getting the hang of it?"

"When I said drop the anchor I meant outside the yacht."

"Don't worry, I'll have the shark off you before it does any real harm."

"Your sailing skills are improving but you need more work on the 'drop anchor' part."

SS Superhero

"Beginner's luck."

'How'm I doin'?'

Set Sail

'I did not say there was a miss in the motor, I said the motor was missing.'

Cap'ns Masthead

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

Failed sailor decides to end it all but the knot on his noose comes undone.

New to the vessel, professor Yomp still says 'Ahoy' a lot, an awful lot!

Beaver stranded in a boat looks on the bright side...'Well, at least we've got plenty of food.'

'Oh thank God I'm safe. But I wish I'd learned to read.'

'I didn't accuse you of being a stowaway - I merely asked to see your ticket...'

Man reading 'how to swim' book whilst swimming.

'Mike is still whakin' on it...Accordin' to his flow-thru hull theory, drillin' more holes will bring it back up.'

'Well we don't have to worry about paying for the boat anymore.This is our final notice.'

'Will you shift her please, I can't get digital.'

'What are you waiting for?'

"I'd like to see your driver's license AND your vessel certificate."

And so died the last person to trust a seagull

Not yet!

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

Boating Supplies. Sale. Ernie, just tell the customers that the prices are very good --- Don't say buying one of these is a "huge oar deal."