Novice Navigator Gifts

'How was my emergency stop?'

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

Bumper sticker redas: My wife was expelled from ACE driving school.

"This is my first root canal, so if you feel like screaming do it now."

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

Man stood by signpost to 'here' or 'there'.

Man on Snowdon with GPS system - "I'd be lost without it."

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

'Typical man - why can't he just ask for directions?'

Lost around a military base.

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

Recalculating!

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

"Wouldn't it be easier to have sat nav fitted?"

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

'I did not say there was a miss in the motor, I said the motor was missing.'

"I told you, if you're looking for a road map for your life, that's all you're gonna get."

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

'I thought I knew what a cubit was.'

'It doesn't show it on this map....'

"We seem to be going round in circles!"

"I know you hate being told what to do, but it's the GPS. That's its job."

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

Women who Read Too Much

GPS verses Map and Compass - Lost or Found?

"He's teaching me map skills, such as how to fold it."

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

'Rats! The GPS-coordinates don't match any known oasis: it must be a mirage...'

"Admit it, you're lost!"

'Well, dammit, I say he should stop and ask someone!'