Navigation Newbie Gifts

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

The Road you're going to end up missing because you're too busy arguing.

"Admit it – you don't know your whereabouts."

"I know you hate being told what to do, but it's the GPS. That's its job."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

The fate of the emigrant

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Man stood by signpost to 'here' or 'there'.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Man on Snowdon with GPS system - "I'd be lost without it."

'I really think we took a wrong turn.'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"Admit it, we're lost."

"Recalculating route..."

'It's okay - he knows how to use the GPS.'

The Lost World: You are Here

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

'So much for your new Satnav!'

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

'Oh man, we are so lost...!'

Bicycle sat nav.

You are here.

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

"Well what does the GPS say?"

"I am not asking for directions."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

I always play the GPS through the backseat speakers. That's were I'm used to receiving instructions.