Nautical Novices T-Shirts

Tractor

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

Boat wedding.

Flyfishing for dummies.

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

'Heavy seas tonight, Mom...'

"Is this the first time you've been fishing?"

Captain steering house through flood.

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

Lighthouse Beam.

"Entweder Fisch oder Fleisch"

Fishing boat.

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

'Just in case there is an accident.'

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

"Aye, 'tis the elusive Moby Dick!"

A large yacht carries a small wood house.

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

'Clem,the doctor told you to get away and relax.'

'I did not say there was a miss in the motor, I said the motor was missing.'

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

'Of course I brought the emergency flares.'

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

'I thought I knew what a cubit was.'

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

"Call me Ishmael."

Distractions.

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

'Honey, did you bring the anti-nausea pills?'

Set sail