Nautical Newbies T-Shirts

'I want to be the first Mountain Goat to sail the Seven Seas...'

'I hate these romance cruises.'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

'Cannonball!'

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"Harry—Let's get brunch and day drink."

The Dubloon Stops Here

When laundry ruled the waves.

Boat wedding.

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

'Heavy seas tonight, Mom...'

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Captain steering house through flood.

"I got a swiss army hook!"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

Columbus Discovers that when Exploring, It's Not Such A Great idea to Bring The Family Along.

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

Farmer and FIsherman

Lighthouse Beam.

'Not while I'm driving the boat, Marge, please,'

Pirate

Battery Lighthouse

Fish or Cut Bait

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

'He's been there ever since he ate the parrot!'

Fishing boat.

"Shall I let them breathe."

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

'Just in case there is an accident.'

Scuba: 'You call that a knot, now this is a knot.'

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'