Nautical Novel Reader Gifts

"How much to insure my artifical leg?"

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

Peter Benchley's New Book Fish!

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

1688: Pirate Dentistry - "Say ARR!"

Mad Hatter's tea party.

A mermaid is on a rock at the sea: A mermaid falls in lover with her upper half and a shark falls in lover with her lower half.

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

Sea Horse outside saloon

Guy on island sees giant ship in bottle.

Boss, I have a question to ask you, but I'm pretty sure I already know what your answer is going to be. Ask away, minion. Can I have a day off each week to catch up on all the "Star Wars" novels and comic books that tie into the upcoming movie? Of course, Rudy. Who am I to stand in the way of your education in the proper role of a boss and his employee? Wait ... Are you talking about the Emperor and Darth Vader? Excellent training manual, if you ignore the lame social justice warrior parts.

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - 'Captain Giant Foam Finger'.

A writer goes sailing.

Shakespeare begins a play about a ship's captain and a white whale... and realizes he's never even been on a boat.

"The butler did it!"

Refueling at Sea: Library Ship

"Well, if you don’t want to discuss exposure, drowning or sharks, what do you want to talk about?"

A Heavenly Sight (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

"Same ship, different day."

The 1 Minute Scape Goat.

Solemn reference is made to Mr. Bunsby

'If you were a carp where would you go?'

So Lonely 'Twas (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

A writer sails on the water chased by editing shears.

During the Tempest, Panurge's Courage has Deserted Him. Friar Jean Mocks Him (Rabelais).

Tunnel of Vengeance.

'Next time make sure it's the bath plug before you pull it out.'

'I wish you didn't have to bring your work home with you.'

'I joined the navy to see the world and I spent four years on a submarine!'

The girl with the Edinburgh tattoo.

'Of course he's not all there.'

"The name's Moby Richard. Who's he callin' Dick?"

Castaway's bad luck.