Nautical Newsreader Gifts

Commercial Fisheries News

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Captain in a storm

"Mind the whale, dear."

'Are we there yet?'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"As I was only saying the other day..."

How can I enjoy that clean, fresh, salt air when I'm up to my neck in garbage?

Goldfish bowl on raft...

'Slip Ahoy!'

"Touché"

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

'Listen Honey! Sounds like there might be a little white water close by!'

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

"You're on a low sodium diet so watch the salty talk."

Moustached gentleman

Newspaper suicide.

Saved...life is good!

Ishmael's First Day on the Pequod was Full of Surprises: "A harpoon!? Don't you practice catch and release?"

Titanic: How's my steering.

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'

Dream On: Fish jumping into boat, whilst fisherman says 'Golly, guys! Can't you wait until I get my tackle box open?'

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

"As night falls, You return to claim what isn't yours. . . come at me, sea devil!!!"

A Couple in A Speedboat.

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

1688: Pirate Dentistry - "Say ARR!"