Nautical Narrative Nerd Gifts

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

When laundry ruled the waves.

The Dubloon Stops Here

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

"As I was only saying the other day..."

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

"I got a swiss army hook!"

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

Columbus Discovers that when Exploring, It's Not Such A Great idea to Bring The Family Along.

'He's been there ever since he ate the parrot!'

"You're on a low sodium diet so watch the salty talk."

'Not while I'm driving the boat, Marge, please,'

Pirate

Battery Lighthouse

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."

Scuba: 'You call that a knot, now this is a knot.'

Pirate eye test

"I find parrots have a tendency to fly away"

"Awwwk! Mutiny is a go! Pass it on! Awwk!"

"And you guarantee it's free if it isn't delivered within thirty minutes?"

"Aye, 'tis the elusive Moby Dick!"

"Call me, Ishmael."

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

1688: Pirate Dentistry - "Say ARR!"

'Cap'n Ahab, Sir! Starbuck wants to know if you fancy a coffee.'

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

Sea Horse outside saloon

Clam Spearing

A mermaid is on a rock at the sea: A mermaid falls in lover with her upper half and a shark falls in lover with her lower half.

Really Early Vikings

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - 'Captain Loofah Sponge',

Guy on island sees giant ship in bottle.