Mystical Trekker Gifts

'The meaning of life? Sorry, kid, you're on the wrong mountain - I'm the guru of handy household tips!'

ET Mishap

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'I'm going to Venus. He's going to Mars.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

Trilby - 'A voice he didn't understand'.

'No not there. Let's try it over here this time...'

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"Great - already running late and then this happens."

"That? Oh, it's last year's calendar."

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

'I need it for my electric blanket.'

OM, SWEET OM

'Pirate's Cove is about a half mile down the beach.'

Nostradamus.

"Evidence of Bigfoot or just some clown?"

Man with twisted legs using a twisted walking stick.

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

"Remember the night in the Tetons when we smoked so much weed we thought we were hallucinating?"

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

'Uh, are you sure you can handle enlightenment?'

"Well, well – if it isn't the old crystal ball and chain."

Palm Reader...

A minotaur in a cubicle labyrinth

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'

"I have grave news."

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

'The spirit of Miss Tiger Lilly couldn't come this week!'

"I'll be right back."

Business witch