Mystical Trekker T-Shirts

'The meaning of life? Sorry, kid, you're on the wrong mountain - I'm the guru of handy household tips!'

ET Mishap

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'I'm going to Venus. He's going to Mars.'

Trilby - 'A voice he didn't understand'.

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

"Great - already running late and then this happens."

"That? Oh, it's last year's calendar."

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

'Pirate's Cove is about a half mile down the beach.'

'I need it for my electric blanket.'

OM, SWEET OM

Nostradamus.

Man with twisted legs using a twisted walking stick.

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

"Evidence of Bigfoot or just some clown?"

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

'I still love you, but I think I should see other dragons.'

"Well, well – if it isn't the old crystal ball and chain."

'Uh, are you sure you can handle enlightenment?'

Palm Reader...

"I'll be right back."

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

Business witch

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'

"I have grave news."

'The spirit of Miss Tiger Lilly couldn't come this week!'

"Remember the night in the Tetons when we smoked so much weed we thought we were hallucinating?"

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

A minotaur in a cubicle labyrinth