Epic Trekker Gifts

"Honey ... let’s never ... ever ... do this ... again."

'What zip code are we in now?'

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

Sport Utility Boot.

"I'd like to book 10 days going anywhere they've never heard of Brexit."

"When troubles begin to take their toll, it’s nice to take a little stroll!"

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

The Lost World: You are Here

'I'm going to Venus. He's going to Mars.'

Camping.

Nature Lovers

School trip little porters.

'There's a bench over there why not sit down and rest your weary mouth?'

Bigfoot tracks...

'I need it for my electric blanket.'

"Does the No. 1 stop here and does that go to Penn Station and can I get a train there to Philadelphia and then how do I get to Walnut Street?"

Man with twisted legs using a twisted walking stick.

"It's one mile as the crow flies, ten miles as the lost hiker bushwhacks."

"Hey. . . in use!"

"Hey, everybody! Come, look! the odometer is about to roll over another 100,00 light years!"

"Will thou not sayest 'Uncle'?"

Speed enforced by really slow walkers.

'Says here that if you meet a bear in the woods, never try to outrun it!'

'I got the idea from the parks department.'

The Tourist

"Well Carter, according to the map, this is where the Rainforest begins."

'About this trip to the Amazon jungle...I want my money back!'

"I thought this was a little heavier than usual."

Not in. Take 1 aspirin and call in morning.

'The meaning of life? Sorry, kid, you're on the wrong mountain - I'm the guru of handy household tips!'

Stuck in the stile.

"Ah...the perfect balance between man and nature."

Woods: caution slippery when elm.

'Ladies and gentlemen, the seat belt sign has been turned off - Ding! I mean on - Ding! Oops, there it goes off again - Ding! no wait, now it's on - Ding! Ok, I think it's off again - Ding! Nope, now it's back on - Ding! Ding!'

'Here's an opportunity: Ride a donkey into Mexico, become a citizen, and then sneek back across the border and get a job.'