Mystical Humor Lovers Gifts

'I can't give you any good news...My crystal ball is down.'

'I discern a certain trans-delusional approach emboldened by a meta-cognitive imbalance - in other words, you've maxed out on your credit cards.'

'I see you will organise a pressure group to oppose the 'get the travellers out of town' campaign.'

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"Kids these days and their piercings..."

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

'You will go 3 for 5 tomorrow.'

"Take us to your feeder."

'He says its a subprime fruit we can have at an adjustable rate, what's the worst that could happen?'

"All I'm saying is, why do we always have to sit on just one side of the table, all bunched up?"

"Vous voyez quoi pour l'avenir de l'humanité?"

"Slimey, what a lovely name."

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

"Out bending spoons at Pop's diner."

Man asking lady if she cares for him

Exam Questions Foretold

"Once upon a time there were three little pigs who had this real sweetheart of a rent-controlled deal."

'According to this, my coffin should be facing the south side of the crypt.'

'Again. . . why are we expelling these two?'

'I see you reaching into your wallet for a twenty dollar bill.'

'Never mind all that stuff! Can you see somewhere to park next tuesday?'

Madam Mae: Fortune teller - Fortune 500.

'Madam Zelda sees all'

Wrong Address

"You will be going on a long walk."

"Don't be so chintzy with the life line!"

Doctor using a crystal ball to diagnose patient,

"Shh...here he comes, and he's got the brain and the heart with him"

"Oh, awkward - my ex. . ."

"The best spell is sneezing."

'Dude...that's one heck of a beer belly.'

"Madam Zelda passed to the other side last week. Would you want me to get a message to her?"

"You're going on a very short journey."