Mystic Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'Sorry about that -- I should have warned you about the Sun coming up like thunder out of china 'cross the bay.'

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

Ask A Silly Question.

"Did you have a cat?"

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

Nikolay Rerih

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

"I'm afraid your wife gets to say 'I told you so.'"

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

Arresting Adam and Eve

'Hold it right there, pal! I had a vision that your check is going to bounce, so you can just head right back to your car!'

Dr. Prebish didn't always fit in with the other scientists.

Fortune Tellers Convention

"...He appears to have stepped away from his body."

You will go on a trip.

'You will go 3 for 5 tomorrow.'

"And now for the 'piece de resistance!'"

'Reeta can tell your fortune from your bank statements.'

"We don't do that kind of cattle futures, ma'am. You want Madam Mystic down the street."

"All I'm saying is, why do we always have to sit on just one side of the table, all bunched up?"

Slug Romance

Man asking lady if she cares for him

'This time last year you told me that I would meet a tall handsome stranger. Now I need his name and address.'

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

"Vous voyez quoi pour l'avenir de l'humanité?"

"Wow. That guy on psychic chat line is really good. He told me our next phone bill would be bigger than usual!"

'The crystal reveals you spend your money foolishly. That will be twenty-five dollars, please.