Mystical Humor Enthusiasts Gifts

Wrong Address

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

"Did you have a cat?"

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

Nikolay Rerih

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

"I'm afraid your wife gets to say 'I told you so.'"

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

'Hold it right there, pal! I had a vision that your check is going to bounce, so you can just head right back to your car!'

Dr. Prebish didn't always fit in with the other scientists.

'You will go 3 for 5 tomorrow.'

"We don't do that kind of cattle futures, ma'am. You want Madam Mystic down the street."

"Add Your Own Caption Week # 222"

'Reeta can tell your fortune from your bank statements.'

Fortune Tellers Convention

You will go on a trip.

"...He appears to have stepped away from his body."

"All I'm saying is, why do we always have to sit on just one side of the table, all bunched up?"

Elves' Union Presents Demands To Santa Claus

'This time last year you told me that I would meet a tall handsome stranger. Now I need his name and address.'

"Vous voyez quoi pour l'avenir de l'humanité?"

'The crystal reveals you spend your money foolishly. That will be twenty-five dollars, please.

"Out bending spoons at Pop's diner."

"Wow. That guy on psychic chat line is really good. He told me our next phone bill would be bigger than usual!"

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

'Listen I think we should break up...it's not you... it's that thing on your face.'

Man asking lady if she cares for him

'Again. . . why are we expelling these two?'

"It's a bit of a scam. They sell the crystal ball at cost, then nail you on the price of replacement psych-ink cartridges."