Mystic Humor Lover Gifts

The seventh sense

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

The worm that churned!

Cinderella insisted on always having glass slippers - even into old age...

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

They say animals have the sixth sense and the talent to look into the future...

"I was kicked out from another kid's bed. Do you mind if I crash under yours for awhile?"

Cat Seance

'Old mother hubbard -- your cupboard is now bare.'

"I've worked as a wet-nurse for ten years, but I'm after something new now..."

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

I channeled John Dewey. He says if you want to be a good teacher, don't teach reading and writing. Teach students.

"Look! A sushi bar!"

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

'I'VE GOT EYE CANDY!'

"Excuse me, but I'm the only one who opens cans around here!"

Banana

'My biological clock finally went off.'

'You will go 3 for 5 tomorrow.'

You will go on a trip.

"Must go now Zelda. The builders have just arrived"

'I propose a day of mild exasperation in response to Richard Dawkins.'

"Charlie's really interested in co-operative housing..."

"All I'm saying is, why do we always have to sit on just one side of the table, all bunched up?"

Helicopter rescues mouse in maze.

Man asking lady if she cares for him

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

'Got any old teeth for putting under pillows?'

"I can't read anything right now. We have to wait a bit: Your palm is all wrinkled..."

"Vous voyez quoi pour l'avenir de l'humanité?"

'C'mon, let's get married! Just imagine - our kids could fly over the moon!'

When I said I wanted a second opinion on my prognosis, this isn't exactly what I meant.

'I should warn you - he's quite a badly damaged individual.'

Exam Questions Foretold