Mystical Humor Appreciator Gifts

Fakir sees in cooler 'Reincarnation Milk'.

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

"Did you have a cat?"

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

Tyrannosaurus Tex

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

"If find people express themslves more freely in traffic jams."

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

"I'm afraid your wife gets to say 'I told you so.'"

"'Host' and Cheese?"

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

"My lecture is about our short attention spans and what a lovely day it is I should be walking but tomorrow maybe I’ll cut the grass..."

'You will go 3 for 5 tomorrow.'

"We don't do that kind of cattle futures, ma'am. You want Madam Mystic down the street."

'Reeta can tell your fortune from your bank statements.'

"All I'm saying is, why do we always have to sit on just one side of the table, all bunched up?"

'The crystal reveals you spend your money foolishly. That will be twenty-five dollars, please.

"Vous voyez quoi pour l'avenir de l'humanité?"

'Their disability not withstanding she severed their tails.'

'This time last year you told me that I would meet a tall handsome stranger. Now I need his name and address.'

Man asking lady if she cares for him

"Wow. That guy on psychic chat line is really good. He told me our next phone bill would be bigger than usual!"

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

"It's a bit of a scam. They sell the crystal ball at cost, then nail you on the price of replacement psych-ink cartridges."

'Again. . . why are we expelling these two?'

Greetings cards copy writer's block.