Mountain Guru Gifts

'This just isn't working - the mountains constantly remind me of the peaks and valleys of a business chart!'

'I've been up here almost a month now -- when do we get paid?'

'Are you SURE we're not allowed to telecommute'

Rock Climber

They've been inseparable since the avalanche.

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

Happiness is spending late summer afternoon on a buying binge at the iPhone app store.

"I understand the Everest climb used to be quite a chore."

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

Recalculating

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

'GESUNDHEIT!!'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

"Remember, it's the journey not the destination."

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"Well, it gets lonely up here!"

'What do you mean you 'forgot' the camera?!'

'I'm detoxing - do you have any mineral water?'

"You'll be fine. Just don't look down."

'So what if we don't have running water?!'

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

"Mom?"

"You are Here" sign on mountain.

'Because it's there.' ... 'Because he may fall.'

"The glaciers are angry."

'I told you to keep the rice in a plastic bag.'

Oregon Eclipse Watching, August 21, 2017

Yodelling School: Your calls may be recorded for training purposes.

'It's all right, Dad -- it's a Buddhist chat room!'

"So Barry, let me guess: you got the promotion..."

'I have to warn you that hills may go up as well as down.'

"Now, that's what I call a speed bump."

Danger Signs.

"Hey Siri, why does my neck hurt?"