Mountain Guru T-Shirts

'This just isn't working - the mountains constantly remind me of the peaks and valleys of a business chart!'

'I've been up here almost a month now -- when do we get paid?'

'Are you SURE we're not allowed to telecommute'

Rock Climber

They've been inseparable since the avalanche.

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

"I understand the Everest climb used to be quite a chore."

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

Recalculating

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

"Remember, it's the journey not the destination."

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

'What do you mean you 'forgot' the camera?!'

"You'll be fine. Just don't look down."

'I'm detoxing - do you have any mineral water?'

"Well, it gets lonely up here!"

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

'So what if we don't have running water?!'

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

"Mom?"

"You are Here" sign on mountain.

'Because it's there.' ... 'Because he may fall.'

"The glaciers are angry."

Yodelling School: Your calls may be recorded for training purposes.

'It's all right, Dad -- it's a Buddhist chat room!'

'I told you to keep the rice in a plastic bag.'

Oregon Eclipse Watching, August 21, 2017

"So Barry, let me guess: you got the promotion..."

'I have to warn you that hills may go up as well as down.'

Weltanschauung (worldview).

Danger Signs.

Mountain climber reaches summit and finds sign which reads: No ball games.

'You shouldn't have forgotten the flag!'

"Now, that's what I call a speed bump."