Climbing Guru Gifts

'No. . . this isn't the fiscal cliff.'

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

On the back of the t-shirt...

Muscles

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"Gabe's in the Guitar Hero program at Juilliard."

Exercise Class

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

Computer games

The trim reaper

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

"Check out this new store."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

Bill glanced up from his computer. It was dark outside. He smelled of BO. A little voice inside his head whispered, 'you should probably log off now.'

Bashful in Nashville

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'What are you eating now?'