Climbing Guru Gifts

'No. . . this isn't the fiscal cliff.'

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

Lennon and McCartney.

On the back of the t-shirt...

Muscles

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

"This next one's another oldie."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

ZZZZZZZ Top

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"Gabe's in the Guitar Hero program at Juilliard."

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

Exercise Class

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

"This is a tune about going off the grid and getting back to nature."

"Remind me again, is it Accounting or IT that handles issues related to online solitaire?"

Eric Clapton.

Computer games

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

Robotics. He's programmed to play video games all day long. Planned adolescence!

The trim reaper

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

Bashful in Nashville

Jeff Tweedy caricature.

'What are you eating now?'

Crane Game. Ball Game.

"Check out this new store."

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

What an afternoon. Rudy, listen to me. It didn't mean anything. You can't play Xbox 360 all afternoon with a guy and pretend it means nothing. I was drunk! You loved it - all of it. The racing and arcade games, the first-person shooters, but especially ... No ... WWF Wrestling Smackdown. I'm a married woman!