Climbing Instructor Gifts

'Since you're new to rock climbing I thought I'd start you out slowly. Climb that boulder.'

Staff picks at a mountain gear shop.

The pieces are movable so the wall can be different every time Ah, "climb it, change."

'Okay! As soon as you guys all get up here we'll have our first seminar...'

'It must be the G8 Summit.'

'I don't think flashing your Audubon membership card will do any good.'

The meaning of life is to avoid falling rocks

Missing you...

'This is no time to start wondering whether you turned off the oven!

Welcome to Everest! No Loitering.

"Ok...Look at me, don't look at the ground. put one foot on the next branch. Slowly...Ok, now move your right arm down..."

Mountain climbing classes has a small rock for beginners.

Things you don't want to see...(mountain goat falls past climbers).

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

"Since global warming the Abominable Snowman is much less frightening than he used to be."

Diver sees old lady in motorized bubble.

Whale Shark Thoughts...

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

"Thanks to the Internet, I learned to ride a bike. Since I was bored, I also got my pilot's license."

Rubbish and Everest

Snorkeling: A Dollar A Minute

'One last thing. I want you each to wear these in the off chance that your reserve chute fails.'

Blind man sky diving with his guide dog.

"I told you not to hold your breath when comping up!"

Extreme skier flies through cloud.

"Bob's a tool belt."

'Knock it off, Gus! This is tough enough without your yodeling!'

'Shouldn't you be somewhere clawing yourself to the top, or something?'

Welcome to Atlantis - Watering Ban in Effect.

"My word. . . so this is how they now climb the corporate ladder. . .?"

"The cultural appropriation is annoying but the herring is delicious."

'I've told you before, Warner. You're not allowed to spend the entire day complaining until you make partner.'

Some people save stamps or coins. I save whales.

Scuba Diving Devil

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver