Mountain Climbing Instructor Gifts

'Ok, Ok. We'll run through it one more time. The rabbit pops up, goes around the tree ....'

Things you don't want to see...(mountain goat falls past climbers).

Happy Hour

"We have all the brochures, but we can't decide if we want to die on Mt. Everest or Mt. McKinley."

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

Stairlift around cliff face.

"Remember how I've always had a hard time asking for help?"

Rock Climber

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

"Since global warming the Abominable Snowman is much less frightening than he used to be."

They've been inseparable since the avalanche.

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Welcome to Everest! No Loitering.

Mountain climbers face a closed route.

'I'll clobber the first joker who ask me if I enjoyed my 'Winter Break'!'

"Do you have an appointment?"

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

The Path

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

The meaning of life is to avoid falling rocks

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'You have to admit Darling that there's an awesome view from our eyrie...'

Bad times to sneeze

"Do you have pants in XL?"

Mountain climbers, "Someone's been here before us."

Planting a Flag on the Summit

We need to see him because there's no satellite-based system to guide us on a trip down the path to enlightenment.

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"Stop whimpering. Most dogs would kill for a walk like this."

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

Danger: Falling animals

"Another nosebleed?!"

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

'We have to move - they're putting in a cell phone tower up here.'