Skydiving Instructor Gifts

'First jump? I'm nervous, too. This is the first time I've packed a parachute.'

'One last thing. I want you each to wear these in the off chance that your reserve chute fails.'

'You're going to have to drop out if you want to graduate.'

"Well, first off, I notice you didn't pack your chute properly."

"Don't worry! We're wearing helmets!"

'This suicide note you put in my pocket is just a gag, right'

Acme Skydiving School.

"This is my first jump!"

Blind man sky diving with his guide dog.

'I haven't fastened my shute on properly, it's come off.'

Mile high skydivers

"In case your chute fails to deploy, just bounce."

"Before we start, do any of you have experience jumping and landing?"

"I don't care if it will give you a wedgie. Pop the chute!"

Sky Diving School: "If at first you don't succeed, you don't succeed."

Sky Diving

'Hi, I'm a sky marshall, you?'

"I'm not your instructor - I'm just a weird guy making an unwanted advance."

Extreme skier flies through cloud.

'I knew I should have bought more insurance.'

'You're definitely officer material Earl.'

'Fully guaranteed. If it doesn't open just pop in and get your money back!'

"Not your chord! The chute! Pull the chute!"

Aliens chasing after a sky diver with a net to capture him for dinner.

Bitchbark Canoe

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

'I think you're getting the hang of it.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

First aid in mountains

Things you don't want to see...(mountain goat falls past climbers).

When laundry ruled the waves.

'Atomic Ski Bum' An extreme skier is showing off!

Ski lift mobile

'OTHER SIDE!!!' - Learn to Surf

'Helen, you're the team leader, why don't you jump first?'