Sky-diving Instructor Gifts

'85 Quid per lesson??...You're having a laugh! Your advert in the paper says it's free-fall!'

'I think you're getting the hang of it.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

First aid in mountains

When laundry ruled the waves.

'Atomic Ski Bum' An extreme skier is showing off!

'OTHER SIDE!!!' - Learn to Surf

Ski lift mobile

'Helen, you're the team leader, why don't you jump first?'

Diver sees old lady in motorized bubble.

'I count only four parachutes. Where's Mr. Simms?'

'I'll clobber the first joker who ask me if I enjoyed my 'Winter Break'!'

"Since you're skiing down to the store, we could use a whole lot more steaks."

'You know, just because they ask, doesn't mean you have to let them fly.'

Welcome to Everest! No Loitering.

'First of all, relax.'

Whale Shark Thoughts...

Clown Skis.

'Last chance to break my leg! I mean, ski this run!'

'YOU are fed up with it . . . How do you think I feel?'

'GESUNDHEIT!!'

"I can see you're a ski newbie."

Guide fish.

"I asked my mother to pack my parachute and she packed my lunch instead."

"If we ca change our altitude we can change out attitude."

The meaning of life is to avoid falling rocks

'Dear, could you hold it down to a light snow flurry?'

'I thought we'd never break through those clouds!'

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

"On the bright side, Dear, your jump looked great right up until the landing!"

Snorkeling: A Dollar A Minute

St Bernard delivering teddy to avalanche victim

Fetching some fuel.

"You'll be fine. Just don't look down."

Cupid and parachutists.