Sky-diving Instructor T-Shirts

'85 Quid per lesson??...You're having a laugh! Your advert in the paper says it's free-fall!'

'I think you're getting the hang of it.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

First aid in mountains

When laundry ruled the waves.

'Atomic Ski Bum' An extreme skier is showing off!

Ski lift mobile

'OTHER SIDE!!!' - Learn to Surf

'Helen, you're the team leader, why don't you jump first?'

Diver sees old lady in motorized bubble.

'I count only four parachutes. Where's Mr. Simms?'

'I'll clobber the first joker who ask me if I enjoyed my 'Winter Break'!'

'You know, just because they ask, doesn't mean you have to let them fly.'

"Since you're skiing down to the store, we could use a whole lot more steaks."

Welcome to Everest! No Loitering.

'First of all, relax.'

Whale Shark Thoughts...

Clown Skis.

'Last chance to break my leg! I mean, ski this run!'

"If we ca change our altitude we can change out attitude."

'YOU are fed up with it . . . How do you think I feel?'

Guide fish.

'Dear, could you hold it down to a light snow flurry?'

The meaning of life is to avoid falling rocks

"I can see you're a ski newbie."

'I thought we'd never break through those clouds!'

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

"On the bright side, Dear, your jump looked great right up until the landing!"

"Honestly, sweetheart, they haven't brought out a little Ellen MacArthur set. As soon as they do daddy will get you one."

Fetching some fuel.

St Bernard delivering teddy to avalanche victim

Snorkeling: A Dollar A Minute

Hunters wait at the bottom of a ski jump ramp.

"You'll be fine. Just don't look down."