Motherhood Muse Gifts

'I seem to have lost the body I had before I had children.'

'I was well-informed, well-adjusted, a useful member of society - then I married.'

Proud mother and new maid

Mom, the original life coach.

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Chez Nous Menu

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"He's such a fussy eater."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Mother Nature

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

"Sarah has two mommies and both of them are good cooks."

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

I love my family!

"I actually had this haircut before I became a mom."

Fitness Programme for babies

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

Men explained.