Maternal Muse Gifts

"I'm desperate to have an inner child of my own."

'Weaning is a bit like a divorce, but mum always gets custody of me.'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

The coffee's not working.

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

Roger feels that there are only two inante instincts in men and women. One is satisfaction of biological needs...the other is self-actualization.

"I think it's wrong to hunt them when they're in a house of worship."

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

'Could you tone down the smile just a little?'

The Sensitive Dude.

'Have you ever thought about doing a children's book?'

'I want a big breakfast.. there are a lot of contended female cats in the neighborhood this morning.'

Happy Mothers Day

"Now she could watch the special on root canal treatment."

Proud mother and new maid

"I can't help thinking there's a book in this."

'Have a couple of dreams, and call me in the morning.'

Artist and the artist's model both thinking of the money.

"Who on earth would call on a landline? How rude!"

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

'I seem to have lost the body I had before I had children.'

Applecart - "Its's just there as a reminder!"

Always let you conscience be your guide. I let my conscience be my guide, but it's non-binding.

"I see a wild celebration...I see music, dancing, much food and revelry! . . . I see - oops!! Sorry....wrong party."

'I'd really have the jitters if I knew the future, but your mom is supercool!'

Artist painting an artist doing a painting.

"You're what?!"

"In case of emergency, break glass."

'I was well-informed, well-adjusted, a useful member of society - then I married.'

"I wandered lonely as a...lonely as a...lonely as a what?"

A fortune-teller working her new big plasma crystal ball.

'Couldn't you at least unbutton your top button?'