Maternity Musers Gifts

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

So … you do a lot of yoga?

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

The Evolution Of Man.

'Motherhood is great, but I get a really sore back...'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Batman's Baby

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

The Elephant in the Womb

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

"Mother and baby are doing well...Both are in a stable condition."

Clown Delivering Babies.

In the club.

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

Push, push, push...

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

'And Remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'I'm on the way!'

Happy Mothers Day

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

Mothercare - " I'm going to shop till I drop."

'Our ultrasound equipment is not working, so we've brought in famed psychic Jennifer Armstrong to give us a vision of the fetus.'

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

"Triple whammy."

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

'Here we go, two more mouths to feed.'