Maternity Musers Pillows

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

'Motherhood is great, but I get a really sore back...'

The Evolution Of Man.

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

The Elephant in the Womb

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

In the club.

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

'And Remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

"Triple whammy."

Happy Mothers Day

Mothercare - " I'm going to shop till I drop."

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

'I'm on the way!'

'Here we go, two more mouths to feed.'

"So far mum's put on 10 kilos. I guess that's the best passenger safety airbag I'll ever get."