Maternity Muse Gifts

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

How depressing... this sexy little dress used to be my floaty summer frock.

Happy Mothers Day

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

The Elephant in the Womb

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

Pregnant Woman - "I think it's coming gift-wrapped."

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

In the club.

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

'And Remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

'I'm on the way!'

Proud mother and new maid

"Triple whammy."

'My client doesn't wish to answer any more questions.'

'Here we go, two more mouths to feed.'

"So far mum's put on 10 kilos. I guess that's the best passenger safety airbag I'll ever get."

Out of body experience