Maternity Muse Gifts

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

How depressing... this sexy little dress used to be my floaty summer frock.

Happy Mothers Day

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

Mighty Man Of Justice Is Born

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

So … you do a lot of yoga?

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Batman's Baby

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

The Elephant in the Womb

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

Pregnant Woman - "I think it's coming gift-wrapped."

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

"Mother and baby are doing well...Both are in a stable condition."

Clown Delivering Babies.

In the club.

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

'And Remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Triple whammy."

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

'I'm on the way!'

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

Proud mother and new maid

'Our ultrasound equipment is not working, so we've brought in famed psychic Jennifer Armstrong to give us a vision of the fetus.'

"So far mum's put on 10 kilos. I guess that's the best passenger safety airbag I'll ever get."

Clown umbilical cord is made of party balloons.