Motherhood Expert Gifts

'I'm qualified to deal with any traumatic event because I've raised five children.'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Is she breastfeeding in public?! That's disgusting!"

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

"He's such a fussy eater."

Mother Nature

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Men explained.

Downloading Pregnancy

I love my family!

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

"I actually had this haircut before I became a mom."

"Sorry Tina, I won't be able to come over: Joey is finally asleep and I don't dare move..."

Mother's Love

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

The Yummiest Mummy in the Village

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

'They sure have small litters.'

'The cool thing about being a kangaroo is that I can actually watch my baby grow...'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

'I think babies grow in a mommy's tummy and adopted babies grow in a mommy's heart.'

Maternity Ward