Parenting Specialist Gifts

"I'm not sure what you should do so I'm sending you to a specialist, Grandma."

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"That is one absorbent nappy."

Grounded

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Sitting Up'

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"Ah...here they are!"

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

The modern generation!

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

"The time has come to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of double-entry bookkeeping, too."

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"