Parenting Pros Gifts

"We won't know till they're older which one is the evil twin."

'But Mom, can't I just skip puberty and go straight to mid-life crisis?'

'Don't blame me. They won't let me pray in school.'

'Kids! I've asked you to clean up you bedrooms 7 times now!!!'

'We punish them equally, Marge, but we favor the boy.'

It's the only crossing guard they can afford.

New parents refusing to change their baby's nappy

'I'm just saying if our nanny can afford a nanny then we're paying too much.'

Pardon me! My being born was your idea, not mine!

Quiz: Why is your two-year old so quiet

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

"You're tired? HELLO, what about me? I haven't slept since I was born!"

'Hi, honey?we're home!'

'Yes, bedwetting can be an issue, but there's no need to make a big deal of it...'

'Oh my God, we've been burgle- ... oh wait, I just remembered, we've got children.'

"We don't want you inviting friends over to play. There are liability issues."

"Don't forget to wash your hands."

'You just wait until your father gets home.'

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

'That's our new Incontinence Specialist.'

Empty Nester Parents: Dad will give you a good talking to and mom will give you a hug.

'That's it? The facts of life? Mom washes the dishes and you dry them?'

'Just leave him in the car! We're late for our parenting class!'

"Don't hit him too hard, his little old mum's at the ringside!"

"That's our eldest, Hurricane Jenny."

'That's what I said,dear-your dinner's in the chippie..'

Toilet Training

'This is nothing like Abu Ghraib!'

'But that's the baby you took in.'

"That is one absorbent nappy."

'I now come to my spending plans for the year 2002 - 2003...' (list features nappy's,rusks,toys,childminder).

Red Indian carrying a baby in golf bag.

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

'I wonder why teenagers are always silent around adults. . .'