Parenting Advisors Gifts

'Careful Darling, my mum always said 'beware of strangers bearing gifts'...'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"Ah...here they are!"

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

The modern generation!

He can't talk yet, but he still gets the last word.

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

Icarus, you are not flying anywhere until you put on some sunscreen.

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

Toilet Training

World's Best Dad. I don't know. I thought they were with you. World's Best Mom.

They grow up so fast, so we're already putting money away for bail.

'But I'm not tired yet!!!'

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'