Parental Advice Giver Gifts

"Remember – not all of them become chickens."

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

"Mom said eat everything in moderation, so I renamed the cookie jar 'Moderation.'"

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

"You know, son, you're not going to get anywhere just gliding around all the time!"

'He never listened to his mother!'

Warring parents

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'

Mom's The Boss

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

'My mom just explained babies to me. I'm not sure, but I think I'm a bird and you're a bee.'

"Oh, don't jump. But at least learn to code."

'I may not be able to smack you, but it won't stop the 'Bogie Man' coming to get you if you are naughty !'

A Victorian park.

"They grow so fast. In my day, you didn't become morbidly obese until adulthood."

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

"And I suppose if your friends all jumped off a cliff you'd follow right along?"

'I don't mind them, but I would like to see my daughter getting married to one of them!'

'It's making me happy.'

"Ten more minutes of media manipulation, then it's off to bed."

"I've been a child psychologist for twenty years. Based on my experience, and several sessions with your son, I believe what is needed is a swift swat on his rump!"

"Oi you two! What going on in here?"

"No thanks! My dad said those things will kill you!"

'Principal Smith, this is a parent of a student in your school. I'd like to discuss my son's grades. Is this a good time?'

‘Sat too close to the TV;’ ‘Stared at the Sun For an Hour,’ ‘Put Out My Eye With a BB Gun.’

"My Mom thinks I should clean my room. I'd like a second opinion."

'Careful Darling, my mum always said 'beware of strangers bearing gifts'...'

"Can I can go to a party?"