Parental Advice Seekers Gifts

"And I suppose if your friends all jumped off a cliff you'd follow right along?"

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

Icarus, you are not flying anywhere until you put on some sunscreen.

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"You know, son, you're not going to get anywhere just gliding around all the time!"

'He never listened to his mother!'

"And you call yourself a marsupial?"

Warring parents

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

Son, it's time you grew some legs and moved out.

Mom's The Boss

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

'My mom just explained babies to me. I'm not sure, but I think I'm a bird and you're a bee.'

"Your inability to turn off your critical voice, combined with your fear of disappointing your overbearing, demanding father, is causing you to lose faith in your fastball."

Wow, you're right! Your mom's regurgitated worms are way better than my mom's!

'I may not be able to smack you, but it won't stop the 'Bogie Man' coming to get you if you are naughty !'

"Oh, don't jump. But at least learn to code."

"Go ask your mother."

"Do you provide any coupons that would allow me one free lie? It would help ease my conscience."

A Victorian park.

"Sorry, son. . . You're not getting the keys to the car until you show me you're mature enough to bring it back completely totaled."

"Don't make me come over there."

'I don't mind them, but I would like to see my daughter getting married to one of them!'

"If it's important to you, Jessica. It's important to daddy, but I don't think it's important to you."

"They grow so fast. In my day, you didn't become morbidly obese until adulthood."

'It's making me happy.'

$200,000 to raise a kid in America! Do you regret the expense? Of course not, sweetie! You're worth every cent. That's a relief. Because I need $20 for the movies!

"Mother, I get enough pressure from my peer group without getting it from you."

"No thanks! My dad said those things will kill you!"

"I've been a child psychologist for twenty years. Based on my experience, and several sessions with your son, I believe what is needed is a swift swat on his rump!"

'Principal Smith, this is a parent of a student in your school. I'd like to discuss my son's grades. Is this a good time?'