Parental Advice Guru Gifts

"No thanks! My dad said those things will kill you!"

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'What's play?'

"Is there a vegan option?"

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

"Migration? I love chasing the endless summer, but travelling such distances with kids is exhausting..."

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

Playing Mozart to the baby.

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

"Be afraid to try new things!"

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

'The best way to teach my son is by example, you know: Monkey see, monkey do...'

A Boy and His Mother

Penguin kid to parents: 'Big deal! You're grounding me!'

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

"Do you ever get the feeling that maybe the baby is listening to us?"

"No. I've never had any problems with my kids not paying attention to me."

Gangs of New York

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

"We encourage Theo to challenge clichés and mediocrity."