Parental Advice Guru T-Shirts

"No thanks! My dad said those things will kill you!"

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'What's play?'

"Is there a vegan option?"

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

Playing Mozart to the baby.

"Migration? I love chasing the endless summer, but travelling such distances with kids is exhausting..."

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

"Do you want to talk about it?"

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

"Be afraid to try new things!"

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

'The best way to teach my son is by example, you know: Monkey see, monkey do...'

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

Penguin kid to parents: 'Big deal! You're grounding me!'

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

Gangs of New York

"Do you ever get the feeling that maybe the baby is listening to us?"

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

A Boy and His Mother

"According to this, everything we've done up to now is right."