Parenting Gurus T-Shirts

"According to this, everything we've done up to now is right."

"Mummy why are your hands so soft?"

"Look, dear! This isn't childish nonsense - Junior's written his first password!"

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'What's play?'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"Is there a vegan option?"

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

'Mind how you cross the ocean.'

"Ah...here they are!"

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

"Migration? I love chasing the endless summer, but travelling such distances with kids is exhausting..."

Playing Mozart to the baby.

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

The modern generation!

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'