Modern Parenting Guru T-Shirts

'Kids are so advanced today. Only 12 years old and my Zooey has already maxed out her credit card.'

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Who are we to assign gender?"

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'What's play?'

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"Is there a vegan option?"

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"He just said his first word!"

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"Migration? I love chasing the endless summer, but travelling such distances with kids is exhausting..."

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

Playing Mozart to the baby.

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

Parent Involvement Tip #1