Parental Advisory Guru T-Shirts

'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'

'What's play?'

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"Is there a vegan option?"

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

Playing Mozart to the baby.

"Migration? I love chasing the endless summer, but travelling such distances with kids is exhausting..."

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

"Be afraid to try new things!"

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

Icarus, you are not flying anywhere until you put on some sunscreen.

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'The best way to teach my son is by example, you know: Monkey see, monkey do...'

A Boy and His Mother

"Do you ever get the feeling that maybe the baby is listening to us?"

"No. I've never had any problems with my kids not paying attention to me."

Gangs of New York

"You know, son, you're not going to get anywhere just gliding around all the time!"

"According to this, everything we've done up to now is right."

"Go ask your search engine."

"Gracie, we're rich because we love one another...we have a safe home and we don't go to bed hungry at night."

'My mom says we're expecting a house guest for 18 years.'

Have you drugged your child today?

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

'I know they look geeky - but I believe lat good parenting should always come before style.'

"I'm holding George back this year because he's failed to forge a personal style."

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."