Parental Advisory Guru Pillows

'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'

'What's play?'

"Is there a vegan option?"

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

"Migration? I love chasing the endless summer, but travelling such distances with kids is exhausting..."

Playing Mozart to the baby.

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

"Be afraid to try new things!"

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'The best way to teach my son is by example, you know: Monkey see, monkey do...'

Gangs of New York

A Boy and His Mother

"You know, son, you're not going to get anywhere just gliding around all the time!"

"Do you ever get the feeling that maybe the baby is listening to us?"

"According to this, everything we've done up to now is right."

"Go ask your search engine."

'I know they look geeky - but I believe lat good parenting should always come before style.'

"I'm holding George back this year because he's failed to forge a personal style."

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

"Gracie, we're rich because we love one another...we have a safe home and we don't go to bed hungry at night."

'My mom says we're expecting a house guest for 18 years.'

Warring parents

Have you drugged your child today?

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."