Parenting Advisor Gifts

"Well, if your allies said that about you then they're not your allies."

'It's making me happy.'

Wow, you're right! Your mom's regurgitated worms are way better than my mom's!

"They grow so fast. In my day, you didn't become morbidly obese until adulthood."

"My mom told me to ask for grit."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"Ah...here they are!"

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

Icarus, you are not flying anywhere until you put on some sunscreen.

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

He can't talk yet, but he still gets the last word.

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

The modern generation!

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

Toilet Training

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!