Parenting Advisor Pillows

"Well, if your allies said that about you then they're not your allies."

'It's making me happy.'

"They grow so fast. In my day, you didn't become morbidly obese until adulthood."

"My mom told me to ask for grit."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"Ah...here they are!"

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

The modern generation!

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

Toilet Training

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

'But I'm not tired yet!!!'

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

"You know, son, you're not going to get anywhere just gliding around all the time!"

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"