Parental Advisory Panelist Pillows

The Supreme Court, Juvenile Divisio: "As usual, the obvious precedent for this case is the children v. Mommy."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

"You know, son, you're not going to get anywhere just gliding around all the time!"

"It's all significantly less impressive once you realize these guys had free child care."

Warring parents

'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'

Mom's The Boss

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

'You look down, son. You wanna rock about it?'

"Oh, don't jump. But at least learn to code."

"The news lady says this bad guy was charged with assault...but he didn't have rifle. How's that possible?!"

'I may not be able to smack you, but it won't stop the 'Bogie Man' coming to get you if you are naughty !'

"They grow so fast. In my day, you didn't become morbidly obese until adulthood."

'It's making me happy.'

"When my parent were kids, they made up alibis. I just carry disclaimers."

"I've been a child psychologist for twenty years. Based on my experience, and several sessions with your son, I believe what is needed is a swift swat on his rump!"

'Oh, Daddy's old gun?... I think he's planning on showing it to you. He always said, it was there in case I ever brought a boyfriend home.'

'Principal Smith, this is a parent of a student in your school. I'd like to discuss my son's grades. Is this a good time?'

"Oi you two! What going on in here?"

"No thanks! My dad said those things will kill you!"

‘Sat too close to the TV;’ ‘Stared at the Sun For an Hour,’ ‘Put Out My Eye With a BB Gun.’

"By our estimates, it's going to take two villages to raise Joey."

"My Mom thinks I should clean my room. I'd like a second opinion."

'Careful Darling, my mum always said 'beware of strangers bearing gifts'...'

"Mum thinks smoking is anti-social!"

"Can I can go to a party?"

'Now that I'm old enough to watch these TV shows without parental supervision, they don't interest me.'

'...may your union be blessed with children...and for those of us who believe in ATTACHMENT PARENTING, could they please do so now!'

'I should have listened to my parents and not run away to join the circus...'