Parental Control Adviser Pillows

Researching Life's Deepest Questions! How do I keep tabs on my daughter's internet use? How do I block my mother online?

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"Mom said eat everything in moderation, so I renamed the cookie jar 'Moderation.'"

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

Icarus, you are not flying anywhere until you put on some sunscreen.

"Be afraid to try new things!"

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"You know, son, you're not going to get anywhere just gliding around all the time!"

'He never listened to his mother!'

"It's all significantly less impressive once you realize these guys had free child care."

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

"...some of these tadpoles may not be yours."

Warring parents

'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'

Soccer Moms

Mom's The Boss

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

The Supreme Court, Juvenile Divisio: "As usual, the obvious precedent for this case is the children v. Mommy."

"Oh, don't jump. But at least learn to code."

'I may not be able to smack you, but it won't stop the 'Bogie Man' coming to get you if you are naughty !'

'You look down, son. You wanna rock about it?'

'My mother made me apply.'

Wow, you're right! Your mom's regurgitated worms are way better than my mom's!

Before birds and bees,

"They grow so fast. In my day, you didn't become morbidly obese until adulthood."

'It's making me happy.'

"You told him he should start his own business."

'Principal Smith, this is a parent of a student in your school. I'd like to discuss my son's grades. Is this a good time?'

"Oi you two! What going on in here?"

"I've been a child psychologist for twenty years. Based on my experience, and several sessions with your son, I believe what is needed is a swift swat on his rump!"

"My Mom thinks I should clean my room. I'd like a second opinion."

'Careful Darling, my mum always said 'beware of strangers bearing gifts'...'

'Why can't you try to be more like me?'

'...may your union be blessed with children...and for those of us who believe in ATTACHMENT PARENTING, could they please do so now!'

"Can I can go to a party?"