Monastic Humorist Gifts

'Stop monking around and get inside!'

'Be on your toes. They're checking for Y-1K compliance.'

"I've never heard of redundancies in a monastery before..."

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

New rule: no tumble-drying!

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Pope tarts.

Monks in monastry dancing, "They're high on apostasy again."

Sermon Applause.

The ten ammendments

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

Employees must cleanse souls before returning to work.

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

The Pope

Holy Guacamole.

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

"'Host' and Cheese?"

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

Nun reading 'Halo' magazine

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

'Maybe you should see an attorney if it was over somebody's head you broke the tablets.'

"That's just UDDER NUN-sense."

'We were just testing our faith.'