Monastic Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'Careful, it could be a trappist.'

Two monks: 'Yes, I know we look like hoodies, Brother John, but I still don't want a hug!'

Monks in monastry dancing, "They're high on apostasy again."

The ten ammendments

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

'Am I glad to be back - austerity's gone mad out there!'

"In heaven there are no trees."

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

Pope Benedict at Easter

'Put the kettle on, Doreen.'

'I'd like to leave the priesthood to marry you, Sister Agnes, but I hate to leave show biz!'

Inside church reactions to the Pope's resignation...

"You've got a vow of silence? How interesting! Tell me all about that!"

Dangerous Populist Pope

"Don't even think of going over my head Brother James!"

Monk at prayer, "and take care, if anything happens to you we're sunk!"

"Ever worked out how much we have saved over the years by not having to buy trousers?"

'I'm going to have to take a day off - to get married!'

Big Brother in Monastery.

"I want to get away to it all."

'Do you know brother I think this Papacy 'IS' going to be different.'

"I've switched from self-flagellation to a high-fiber diet."

New rule: no tumble-drying!

Monk to monk: 'Can you take over? I have to tinkle.'

'Stop monking around and get inside!'

'You weren't always faithful so some of your prayers went to God's spam.'

"I see you're of good character."

'Well, it looks like the pope is going to be there for a few more years!'

"Apparently he's from a silent order."

Pea-headed Pope

'I guess it's OK - provided he keeps the vow of silence.'

"I ate one of my buddies, but he'd been dead a week or so..."

Pope still on tight shedule.

Pope Mobile