Catholic Humor Lover Gifts

Pope Benedict at Easter

"That's our new church mascot."

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

The ten ammendments

'Please take your receipt!'

Monks in monastry dancing, "They're high on apostasy again."

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

Pre-nuptual Nativity

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'

Nativity - The sitcom

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'

"Thanks Moses, but I prefer my water bottled."

Churchwarden Talking to Rector

"Jesus is not here. Let's check the one over..."

"OK, OK, Dad. I'm up... I'm up."

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

Baby Bird

'In conclusion, it's more blessed to give than retrieve.'

'Put the kettle on, Doreen.'

Inside church reactions to the Pope's resignation...

'I'd like to leave the priesthood to marry you, Sister Agnes, but I hate to leave show biz!'

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

Moses parts the Red Sea.

I brought my lawyer to go over the small print.

"The dove must be back."

'Oh, ick! -- I just stepped on a fish!'

REPENT, 'Hey! -- Go find your own corner!'

"Hi! Is this Jesus of Nazarath, son of David? This is Stan. We're family! I found you on Ancestry."

Manna Helper

"T.G.I.F!"

"Don't even think of going over my head Brother James!"