Catholic Humor Gifts

"I ate one of my buddies, but he'd been dead a week or so..."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

The ten ammendments

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

Excommunicate Me.

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

'He may be the Messiah, but he's no Springsteen.'

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

'In compliance with Federal full-disclosure laws, I'm required to tell you that I'm really not all that sure about some of this stuff.'

'I'd like to leave the priesthood to marry you, Sister Agnes, but I hate to leave show biz!'

"Guys, guys! Let's take this from the top. Who ordered the chicken nuggets...?"

'Put the kettle on, Doreen.'

Inside church reactions to the Pope's resignation...

Pray it Don't Spry it.

Pope Benedict at Easter

"Peace on earth. Goodwill to all men and who ordered the triple cheese with extra pepperoni?"

Clergyman and Working Girl

Dangerous Populist Pope

"I'm getting earthy overtones of guilt, with just a hint of sexual frustration."

Bishops with headgear of increasing size.

Big Brother in Monastery.

Two monks: 'Yes, I know we look like hoodies, Brother John, but I still don't want a hug!'

'I had to have my pacemaker readjusted since I asked Jesus into my heart.'

"My uncle can turn a twenty-dollar bill into wine."

'Stop monking around and get inside!'

"When I found out I couldn't take it with me, I left it all to charity."

New rule: no tumble-drying!

"He just loves the lumps of gold you bought him last year."

'Do you know brother I think this Papacy 'IS' going to be different.'

"Do you really believe, Gerald?"

"If it's all the same to you, I'll wait for a Merlot and she'll have Sauterne."

Pea-headed Pope

How's my absolution! (800)-HAIL MARY

"That's St. Anthony of Padua. He finds every ball I hit in the woods."

Pope still on tight shedule.